Spider Wars Episodes I and II

Not that long ago, in a country far far away........ SPIDER WARS! (cue awesome music here..)

So if you have talked to me at all in the last few weeks I have been here.. you probably have heard me talk about the wonderful spiders that live in our house... Most are just harmless daddy long legs that thought they were more than welcome here due to my wonderful husbands lack of sweeping... However, there are a few rather larger spiders that live here as well..

These larger spiders are unlike any spider I have ever seen... and having lived in a few basements... I have seen my fair share of spiders! A typical spider when confronted with an object moving towards them will move away from that object right? Well.. not these guys.... they have two techniques to stay alive which have proved to work pretty well for them... for a while!

The first technique is what I like to call the kamikaze.. this is where the spider runs directly towards the object that is moving towards them... i.e. ME... This works for a while because I run in the opposite direction screaming bloody murder (Isn't that what the spider is supposed to do??) until my husband comes to the rescue and kills it for me.. what a manly man : )  Luckily for me the spiders tend to use this technique when said husband is home...

The second technique these ginormous spiders like to use is what I have named playing dead.. As the name implies, this is where the spider plays dead after I have hit it once... now even though I have played softball most of my life... I don't always have the best spider aim......

 Spider Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (It was already a perfect title.. no need for changing it!)

Now that I have given you the background information on these wonderfully unique spiders, I have a story for you.... So since Everett has left for his TDY/deployment/free trip to Iceland (whatever you would like to refer to it as..) there is one particular spider that has decided to make his presence known.. Now I have seen some large spiders in this house... but this guy takes the cake... His first appearance was Thursday evening when I spied him in the corner by our front door. He was in a very bad position for me to go in for the kill for fear he may use the kamikaze on me.. and I was pretty sure this sucker could take off my big toe if he wanted.. so I went for the throw the shoe approach.. Well I hit him, not dead on, but I could tell from a distance that I had broken 2 legs and he didn't move, so one would obviously assume that if a spider has just had a large Everett size 13 shoe thrown at him taking off two legs, if the sucker was still alive he wouldn't be anywhere near his original position anymore.. Not completely convinced, I decided to give him an hour to move, then I would go in for a second round...

An hour later, I go to check on him.. and of course... he must have used the playing dead technique because he was no where to be found.... So then I was just creeped out knowing a huge 6 legged spider was roaming around my house somewhere...

Spider Wars Episode II: Attack of Mr. Six Legs

I had obviously gotten over it and hadn't had any signs of him for over 24 hours, figured he probably crawled up in a hole somewhere and died.. that was until about 20 minutes ago I was minding my own business catching up on some Secret Life (yes.. I am a closet watcher and yes.. I found out how to watch American TV on the internet thanks to Nichole!!!) when out of the corner of my eye I see something run across the floor... I look over to investigate, and sure enough.. my friend was back.. at least I was hoping it was him and not yet another one, but I was not close enough to count his legs.. I swear to you once it saw me it turned around and ran right back to where it came from.. into my dark hallway in which the light switch for the hallway is on the opposite side that I was... This guy was forcing me to walk into a dark hallway with him... OHHH NOO... I know his tactics... I'm not letting him use no kamikaze on me in the dark!! So I do what any technologically gifted person would do in this day in age... I went and got my cell phone to light my path to the light switch!

Once the light was on.. I was on the search for the spider... He wasn't hard to miss.. he was just about to crawl underneath the door and into our hall closet.. I apologize in advance, but I'm going to have to make a small tangent here.. Now the funny thing about this closet is that it holds all cleaning supplies for the house, including any brooms, vacuums, etc. along with a bunch of random Christmas decorations and TV boxes.. As an avid reader of this blog, you might remember that I had to thoroughly clean this house when I arrived in England, therefore I have made pretty good use out of this closet. When I first got in this closet I was a little scared because I knew it would make a good spider house so I never ventured far into it, just grabbing what I needed and shutting the door.. This closet goes pretty far back because it's underneath the staircase (Kind of like the one that Harry had to stay in at his Aunt and Uncles house for you Harry Potter readers.. fitting considering I'm living in England right?), and my husband decided it was a good idea to place the vacuum WAAAAAYYY in the back of the closet, not close enough for my grab and go, therefore the house has not yet been vacuumed... Everett, after looking in the closet for something for his friend, swore that there were no spiders in this closet... it will be at this point that I will resume my story...



Once the light was on.. I was on the search for the spider... He wasn't hard to miss.. he was just about to crawl underneath the door and into our hall closet.. the hall closet that "no spiders live in" according to my husband... um honey... THINK AGAIN!!! He only had about 2 legs under the door, and was once again trying the play dead tactic.. but as the saying goes.. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me... Well I am not about to get schooled by this spider twice, so I went upstairs to get my spider stompers AKA Everett's size 13 boots..

At this point I could not tell if this was Mr. Six Leg from Episode I or not because as I said before he had 2 legs under the door, which put him at yet another corner.. Man.. this spider is smart! He knows I suck at corners!! So, outsmarting the spider, I banged on the closet door to hopefully either scare him in or out... He chose out and out popped his 2 broken legs.. IT WAS MR. SIX LEG!! (Which I was super thankful that I didn't have 2 huge spiders running around.. and hopefully still don't!!) I decided at this point that this needed to be documented, so I went back and got my wonderful phone.. after taking a picture and messaging it to Everett I decided a murder was definitely needed...

And after about 5 minutes of getting up my courage (note that the spider was still in playing dead mode) I stomped him and made sure it was worth it... and it was.. at least I think so!! He looked pretty dead, which I also documented and will post below... I did decide to give him an hour to make sure he wasn't still playing dead... I will have to update you on that at a later date!!

Here are your pictures!!

It was at this point I couldn't tell if he was Mr. Six Leg or not...

And he reveals his 2 broken legs received from Epsiode I

I have defeated him!! He looks pretty dead to me!

My weapon of choice..

So I'm hoping there will be no Episode III for this little adventure, but only time can tell!

On to better news... Everett left on Thursday which left me to myself for a few days... Fortunately I met a wonderful new friend here named Nichole. She is married to the pilot that is flying with Everett on this mission, so we will be going to Iceland together next week.. (only 3 more days!!!) She has been entertaining me while our husbands are gone.. We went shopping in Newmarket on Thursday and then I invited her over to my house tonight for a little Chinese take out and wine and to discuss plans to visit London on Monday and Tuesday!! Since we are flying out from there, and I have yet to see it in the daylight, she offered to go with me a day early to check it out! Some of the things on our itinerary are Platform 9 3/4 (once again for all you Harry Potter fans!!), Abbey Road, Buckingham Palace, CHIPOTLE!!!, and shopping at Harrods. We will probably be doing some other things as well such as the London Eye and the Aquarium depending on time and weather.. With that said, all day Sunday will be packing for me.. so this will be my last post until I get back from ICELAND!!!! Can't wait!!

Hope you all have/had a safe and relaxing Labor Day weekend!! I miss being at the lake and am really looking forward to hearing what the big surprise was!!

Until next time!! Cheers!!